Attila The Pun

Three Men, Two Continents, One Small Vehicle

The Mission

Attila The Pun is a 2013 Mongol Rally team. We will drive our 2007 Nissan Almera from Scotland to Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia via the the Wakhan Corridor. Our vehicle is intentionally inappropriate for this task; we will rely heavily on the charity of those we meet along the way and intend to document these interactions aggressively. The people inhabiting the mountainous regions of Central Asia are famous for their hospitality.

We begin our adventure in the UK. We will proceed East through Frankfurt, Prague, Budapest, Bucharest and Odessa. We then continue into Russia and the Kazakh steppe, where we kiss the northern shores of the Caspian and (vanishing) Aral Seas. We swing ’round the Aral into Uzbekistan. The road from Samarkand to Almaty will certainly be the most exciting leg. This leg includes the Pamir Highway and the aforementioned Wakhan Corridor, which is among the most remote places on earth. The road is unforgiving and the landscape is harsh. We will sleep and eat well in the yurts and mud huts of the locals along the way. If we make it to Almaty (we will, mothers), the rest of the trip will seem like a vacation (it is). We’ll head back into Russia and over into Mongolia. Crossing the Mongol Steppe, where men hunt with eagles, is our final test. Excited? We are.

Our Team

ian-nichols

Ian Nichols

Ian Nichols hails from quaint Cashmere, Washington, and now lives on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. He attended Harvard University with fellow teammate Jon Hay, where he studied Physics and Astronomy & Astrophysics. He went to work for the Ellington Management Group in Old Greenwich, Connecticut immediately upon graduating, and he’s been their most loyal employee ever since — seven years, now. His greatest accomplishment is founding the Harvard Beer Society; Harvard-Ale remains the school’s most iconic party. In his youth, Ian found refuge from the cherry orchards in the pristine North Cascades. It is yet to be seen whether his skills will translate to the Hindu Kush. He still can’t believe he managed to convince people to abandon their comfortable lives and cross the whole of Eurasia with him. Ian is the self-proclaimed captain of this trip, though rumor has it that at least two crafty politicians are scheming to capture this title. Will they succeed? Stay tuned. Ian is an Aries.

Matt Nelson

Matt Nelson

The only thing Matt Nelson enjoys more than a good box of wine is risking life and limb in Central Asia, so this trip is a natural fit for him. The official mascot of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Class of 2013, Matt is widely understood to be the most beloved human being in the world, which should come in handy when we need to convince the Tajiks to repair our car. Matt attended Northwestern University, where we can only assume he spent all of his time alone in the library. He went on to pursue his MBA in order to postpone real life long enough to satiate his desire for adventure. Previous endeavors include skydiving over the Great Barrier Reef, bungee jumping in New Zealand, luging in the Swiss Alps, scuba diving in the Virgin Islands, riding elephants in Laos, playing with tigers in Thailand, hot air ballooning in Turkey and guiding a boat down the Colorado River. At the ripe young age of 33, Matt will bring his maturity, wisdom, and worldliness to a team in desperate need of all three. On the trip, Matt will be in charge of all negotiations, given his fluency in seven different languages (including, most importantly, Russian). Matt is an Aries.

Jon Hay

Jon Hay

Jon Hay is the glue that keeps this team together, which is less a testament to his character and more a statement about the fact that Matt and Ian will not actually meet until they arrive in London. Jon recently received his MBA with Matt at the University of Chicago. He previously attended Harvard with Ian, where he is primarily remembered for having a collection of almost 200 sports jerseys (Jersey Jon in the house!). On the team, he will be responsible for social media and will also be the official car DJ, so he’s basically the single most important person on this rally. When he heads to Mongolia, he will leave behind his wonderful girlfriend, Dr. Susanne Chock, who continues to be remarkably understanding about this whole situation. Jon is an Aries (HOLY CRAP I JUST REALIZED WE’RE ALL ARIES!!! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???? IS IT BAD!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!)